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From The Groin

~ Cain Berlinger, author

From The Groin

Tag Archives: erotica

4 months of physical and emotional Pain (ha!)

27 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by mrcain in Blog

≈ 2 Comments

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amazon, bdsm, books, cain berligner, ebooks, erotic ebooks, erotica, gay, illness, inspiration, leather, pain, pain management, sex

4 Months of Physical and Emotional Pain (ha!)

The bad news is that I was having a bad time, even for me who tries to live life on a permanent fun ride. The good news is I’m back, as witnessed by my current blog entry. I’d like to take this moment to express my gratitude to those of my fans who hung in there sending their love and support for what I was going through.

For starters, the trilogy I had been working on (THE CARETAKERS, the story of a young man who wishes to open a retreat for aged BDSMers) was ‘dumped on’ by my publisher. Despite the success of the first installment “ZANDER’S PLACE” which

is stiIMG_8243ll offzandersplace_Drafterred as a free download.

First let me assure you that it was never my plan to get rich writing, especially via erotic romances. Of course “FIFTY SHADES OF GREY” has caused me to look at writing erotic romances with a less prejudiced eye to the possibilities! Anyway, the follow up installment was met with a lot less enthusiasm than my writings had been in the past decades.

I don’t know any creative person who doesn’t see their ‘creation’ as anything other than their ‘baby’! Attack my child, attack me. It is also not a revelation to know that many of us tend to have …well…uh…egos. Sometimes the more insecure we are the larger and more fragile our egos tend to be. I’m not saying that I’M insecure, (perish the thought!) lets just say that until the day I hit that one million sales mark I will continue to put my stories through rewrites up to and even right after publication.

My publisher, I must point out, has helped greatly in making me the writer that I am. She brought me from 1000 word short stories to 50,000 word-count stories and anthologies. That being said, she is also a writer and a business woman, but has no ‘bedside manner’ when it comes to personal interaction with her writers (at least not with me.)  You say if she improved my writing then I should be happy…yes, I hear you. Problem is, it’s a classic case of tossing out the baby with the bath water. She made me a better writer but she took the fun and joy out of writing. As I said earlier, I’m not in this for the money. Bottom line is I just stopped writing, EVERYTHING.

To make matters worse, while still being plagued with foot issues I developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome which, contrary to popular belief, isn’t just for overworked writers. In my case it turned out to be a diabetic/arthritis complication and gradually I ended up with limited mobility in my right hand. I couldn’t hold onto things and my fingers had a mind of their own. The ailment didn’t interfere with my use of the keyboard but contributed to my general feeling of ‘loss’.

When my partner suggested a two month trip to Amsterdam I was in disbelief but jumped at the chance. Not only had I always been productive writing wise in Amsterdam, but I intended to use the time to ‘catch up’ on all my computer work and promoting myself by registering on sites and promoting the books that I had written.

I had also written two of my most successful stories inspired by previous trips to Amsterdam, “Daniel Does Amsterdam” and “I’ll be Damned“.

illbedamned draftdanieldoesamsterdam_Draft-2

However my hand was rapidly deteriorating and I decided IMG_9111that I would have enough time to do the surgery and recuperate in time for the trip. I was half right. The surgery went well enough (jury is still out, I’m not dropping stuff anymore) but the recovery time is still going on a month later and I am on and off pain killers if not for the neuropathy then the surgical residue of healing. Besides after all, I am in Amsterdam

FYI The right hand is the challenged one. I am left handed in all things else.

There was a time when my “writer’s mode” consisted of whiskey and cigarettes which I called my Ernest Hemingway model. I now feel I am progressing into my William Burroughs’ mode, although not as drastic.

I no longer stayed up all night writing but adapted the “early to bed and early to rise” model of living. Hated it. My partner hated it more. I tend too be rather chatty in the morning. I even suggested we do a podcast of topics. Still a good idea I think, but that would mean we’d both have to be chatting.

That revelation, and the fact that I hate “early to bed..etc “, and I was missing writing was starting to get to me. Also, where it seemed I had only two options to getting my writing to the public, it turns out I might have three. One is to maintain my current position, I could self publish (which I’ve done a few times) or join my former editor in helping to make a change to another publishing house.

Certainly once I am fully over the self pity (fully in a day or so) I can come up with lots of refreshing ideas. One of them is practicing photography (some examples below) that will please me, publishers and you, good reader!

Amsterdam, which has long been my spiritual home, has worked its healing powers on me and given me more light and insight into not just my creative life but my personal life as well, which is also due for a few changes. Stepping outside the box, it is easier to look inside and see all that’s right or not right with its contents. A sort of broader oversight. I can see more clearly now.

IMG_9434

See you sooner rather than later! Above pic: Me now with a new hat and a new attitude!)

CAIN BERLINGER

(Below, hidden talents as a photog?)

IMG_9365IMG_9184IMG_9320

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…and a prosperous 2015 !

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by mrcain in Blog, Ebooks

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Tags

erotica, international, sex, writer

…and a prosperous 2015 !.

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May Flowers Blog

08 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by mrcain in Blog

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

cain berlinger, erotica, holiday, writing

Hey there fellow writers and fans o’ mine! As always I beg your forgiveness on the tardiness of my blog but hopefully you will forgive me when I tell you of all I have been doing while gathering up inspiration for my writer’s inspiration.

In a quiet nod to my sexual self I decided to host one of my parties on a Sunday afternoon in response to those who claim Sunday is their day of “joyful reckoning”. (My words not theirs, of course.) Was busy, work and great fun all the same.

Enough of that “dark side” of me. A friend and I decided to take ten days off and visit Hanoi, Vietnam for a few days and continue on to Bangkok. Both cities were crowded, hot, humid, and a complete cultural shock. In a good way of course. Vietnamese food was pretty interesting while Thai food was a little spicy for my taste. It seems the natives dumb down the food for westerners while the real adventurers enjoy all the fine variety of flavors such a culture has to offer.

A communist country like Vietnam seems to have embraced new rules that allow the Vietnamese to strut their capitalist feathers, and indeed they do, to the point of an aggressive sales approach that would put any New Yorker to shame! Whatever you may have heard about the infamous traffic in Hanoi is true. Crossing the street is a life threatening adventure.

The beauty of Bangkok is in its freedom and ability to still save Bangkok of the 60’s and merge it with the growth of the new millennium. The “land of a 1000 temples” is extraordinary and photos don’t capture the beauty and craftsmanship of many of the temples inside and out.

It is no surprise that much of my writings include diverse cultures and a kind of off beat sensibility, the kind that one develops when traveling and exposing yourself to new ideas. The more travel expands your imagination the broader your fantasies reach.

The last of my May travels was to Chicago for the annual International Mister Leather, a convention of over 20,000 men and women into leather, kink, and fetish. Yes, dear reader I can pretty well write about these topics because the practitioners of said kink etc etc is MY family. I get many of my ideas from being with my “family” and sharing some of their stories as well as my own, with you, the reader. Visually the convention is a an amazing mix of “you-name-it” and it’s represented here and fuels every man or woman’s fantasy from Borg-style leather gear to giving yourself over to your animal spirit puppy and farm animal style (I bet you really want to know more now don’cha?) If you remember ‘Daddy’s Boy’s’ you may remember the hot tattooed ‘daddy’ on the cover. That picture was taking at the convention market place and the gent was asked if we could put him on the cover to which he kindly consented. Sometime, the story just walks up to you!

See you next installment. What did you think of this one? Visit my guest book and let me know, your comments are important to me.

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Beautiful Weather Everywhere

06 Sunday May 2012

Posted by mrcain in Blog

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cain berlinger, erotica, holiday, writing

Found this picture of a totem in old San Juan, nice eh?

Spring springs eternal? Just back from a fascinating time in of all places Cleveland, Ohio, which also happens to be the place of my birth. Cleveland hosted an event known in the leather community as CLAW (Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend) which is a weekend of shopping, networking and workshops. The event beat me out years ago for a community service award, but I have to admit it is still well deserving, and continues to be one of the foremost of leather events.

A few leather icons were present and its scary how the passage of time can ravish the most sturdy of us. I always find it odd how everyone seems to be aging but me. Oh well, good genes I guess.

It was also notable for a writers’ panel that featured Tim Brough, Gloria Braeme, Race Bannon, Guy Baldwin and Jack Rinella. All of the panel are well known and respected fetish and kink writers who have been in the forefront of kinky literature for many years. The panel seemed to agree that e-books are definitely the wave of the future if not what’s happening now, as book store after book store closes and E-readers rise in popularity. Since I wasn’t invited to be on this year’s panel (next year I’ve been asked) I missed the first half of what seemed to be a really informative discussion.

My creative process these days seem to come in spurts. The last month has seen me really producing such soon to be classics (if I do say so myself) Bewitched, On the Downlow, Gang of Brothers and The Contest. The stories are my attempt to display a lighter approach to my writing (happier endings), only time will tell whether I’ve succeeded or not. All I know is that I am constantly presenting Dawne, cover artist extraordinaire, with challenging cover ideas and she returns the serve with brilliance! Some of my stories are inspired by wondering what Dawn’s artistic view of my tales will be. I’ve given her a Pakistani drag performer and a transgendered body builder and a demon from beyond! I try to keep it interesting for my reader and my artist. I try…

I have several ideas brewing even as I write my ever late blog. I’ll be turning off the phone and television and digging in soon enough. Come the summer I intend to start working on my series of meditation books highlighting the seasons. I like to impress my readers with my diversity, not just in the characters I create but the genre of books I write as well.

Some of you may remember how last year a freak infection curtailed my travel activities for many months. This year I’m determined to make up for lost time. My next planned trip is for Hanoi and Bangkok, no doubt a rich mine of creativity waiting to be mined.

Meanwhile here’s hoping everyone has a wonderful season and download a ton of my books onto your kindle, iPad, Nook, and whatever else you may be using to make your travel rides more fun! And please don’t forget to visit my guestbook and sign in with your comments and ideas. I look forward to hearing from you!

Best. Cain Berlinger

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Spring Has Sprung!

18 Wednesday Apr 2012

Posted by mrcain in Blog

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Tags

cain berlinger, erotica, leather, writing

Writing a blog with any regularity is hard. Doing the stuff I’d think you’d want to read about is what’s keeping me from writing a regularly-timed blog. Writing a book or short stories takes up a lot of time, time I could be writing a blog but then I’d have nothing to say. Confused? Don’t be. Just making excuses and trying to keep my apology humble. Don’t worry, it will unfortunately happen again. As a favorite television detective is fond of saying : “Just bear with me”.

My last blog told of my adventure to Puerto Rico and the wonderful town of Old San Juan. In all that time I was still using my cane, reluctantly, but when the occasion called for it…. some of you may recall my unfortunate foot infection which had me laid up for most of 2011, so what I saved I’m trying to make up for in 2012. With that in mind, please note the foot is still healing, but healing none the less. Thanks to many of you for your notes of support! Diabetes is the culprit here so blame my life long fascination with chocolate and junk food for my foot’s slow return.

Nevertheless I rarely post my travels until I return from them so I’ll have something interesting to say but this time I have to announce my journey on one of the longest trips (with time changes 24 hours) for anyone, especially me. I am off to Hanoi and Bangkok! I may actually post pictures on Facebook for this one. I told my travel planner that I’m in it for the food and sex and maybe an ‘attraction’ or two. My traveling companion was stationed in VietNam during the war and for some reason is very anxious to return to what can only be described as a makeover. Yes, I’ll keep you posted.

As many of you know, I am also a Leatherman for many years. Much of those years experiences went into several of my books. As the weather gets warmer there are events I attend with my wonderful partner and my boy-in-training. Nothing like seeing old time events through the eyes of a newbie. After 26 years of International Mister Leather it will still seem fresh and new as seen through the eyes of my boy.

There’s more to tell about this coming year, but for now what I’ve disclosed so far should hold you.

In my publishing house is an author whom I am very very much a big fan of, and he, as he says is of me. He is an extremely prolific writer as I can be as well. Recently I’ve been burning the midnight oil trying to match his phenomenonal output and it seems in my zeal I’ve created three very memorable pieces. On the Downlow, Gang of Brothers, and Bewitched, I Fucked With a Porn Star. I have been told that to develop discipline I should set aside an hour every Monday to do my blog. A writer can’t dictate when he/she is going to be in the mood to write. Sometimes the prose flows, writes itself, or just lays on the keyboard DOA. All three stories came from my “idea” file. Things I thought would be a good idea at the time but never acted on them. On the Downlow is about a gang banger who gets hung up on a Pakistani drag queen. I try to be different and try to include everyone in my stories. I promise you the other two are just as broad-based. Unlike the current Masseur, which is just about a nice guy caught up in an ‘interesting’ profession.

According to my editor, they were all swift butt kicks for me to get into motion and write more. Another thing suggested to me is that if I want to get more paperbacks out there, I might want to soften some of my Hitchcock endings into something lighter and less grim. I guess some of you need a happy ending, so I’m working on it. Be sure and tell me how ah’m doing!

In light of a recent attempt to silence some of our more edgy writers by some over zealous distributors, we were forced to kind of rethink, if not our stories at least some of our our titles ( I Fucked With a Porn Star is fine, nothing to do with ‘boys’ or ‘daddies’ in the title). It’s clear some of the pencil pushers have never had a ‘daddy’ or been in love with a ‘bear’. Education, it’s needed everywhere. Anyway, I’m on a bit of a roll so I’m going to cut this short and say I love that your following me (MrCain on Facebook and Twitter) and I hope many of you will write me and tell share what’s on your mind. “Enough about me. What do YOU think of me?” Please leave a few words in the guestbook so I can reach out to you as well. I remain….

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