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From The Groin

~ Cain Berlinger, author

From The Groin

Tag Archives: morphine

Pain Management

27 Saturday Aug 2011

Posted by mrcain in Blog

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cain berligner, erotic ebook, inspiration, morphine, pain, pain management, writer, writing

photo of Cain in fitness gearHello again! Hope everyone enjoyed the heat we’ve been experiencing on the east coast, a scorcher I hear. Of course I am still confined to home care. With a fully functioning A/C and a really awesome caregiving partner, I am all set to heal, bring it on, right now! Since June 18th I have had two days of which I can say I was not in pain. My health crisis (MRSA) is teaching me a little something about pain management and why its called ‘management’ . There are pain ‘levels’ and ‘types’ of pain. There are the pains that make you pay attention and the other pains that aren’t worth the Advil. My doctor says he doesn’t want me to get addicted to the pain pills. Pain pills manage the pain, they don’t get you high or buzzed or anything like that…for me anyway. What it does is it manages the way you process the pain that keeps you merely moaning in discomfort instead of screaming out right.

The pain is physical, the management is emotional and exhausting.

Screaming outright is what inspired my latest offering entitled “Morphine”. (Buy on Kindle here.) I like to compare its inception to William Burrough’s Junky and Naked Lunch except Morphine is not autobiographical in that sense nor are the characters real or even based on anyone that I know. Morphine is the emotional roller coaster ride you experience when you’re on Morphine, which is what the nurses at Woodhull had me on during my first few days after the first operation to remove my infection.

Screaming came just before the tears, unlike in the story where the tears build into screams. For instance, Archie’s love for his brothers physical perfection and the way they enhance his artistry starts outs as a homage that brings tears to his eyes, like while on the drug the pain was at a level that is a fire on low burn. As Archie’s madness increases, the morphine loses its power and the fire rises and you start to scream just as Archie’s brother begins to scream when the ‘art’ on his body is literally cut away.

One more example. My ambulance ride home from the hospital was a wild struggle over New York pot holes and rush hour traffic that had me bouncing madly about the back of the ambulance with sirens wailing. It translates into another scene from the book noted for its sheer violence and brutality, where Arthur is punched and beaten into submission such as I was in the back of the ambulance that brought me home.morphine book cover

There are many more instances where Morphine and reality meet, then go off in all directions, I’ve given just a few examples. Morphine is as dark a tale about sex and all its various forms that can bring out the most vile of emotions while under the influence of any drug, be it morphine or sex (as a drug) or another man who embodies it all. Maybe all that is in me as the writer and the Morphine just brought it to the surface. It took about two weeks to write the story which was started while I was on Morphine. I was downgraded to Vicaden just in time to dot the ‘i’s and cross the ‘T’s and the story mellowed out to its outcome. Dawne’s cover art captures the mood of the story brilliantly and as I look at the cover it comes back to me as I sail onto recovery.

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Cain’s Third Blog

25 Thursday Aug 2011

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author, books, cain berlinger, canyon ranch, ebooks, morphine, rewrites, writer, writing

photo of Cain seatedWell I hope everyone has been having a good Summer despite the crazy weather we’ve been having all over the place. There is an advantage to being stuck indoors because of a faulty foot, and that would be the A/C. Not just keepin me cool but the foot isn’t allowed to sweat, it seems to much moisture is at the fault of the whole foot infection thing.

What have I done to keep my mind off the pain and the whole bloody business? I’ve done what any writer would do, I write. After having completed the final touches on CANYON RANCH, MORPHINE, and BEDTIME STORIES (galleys, covers etc) I went treasure hunting on all my flash drives for things I could use on the site and some possibly missing stories that I may have abandoned for one reason or another.

One such story I found was a mystery novella I wrote over ten years ago. I remember the story going through many title changes until I settled on BUCKY because at the time the lead character’s name was Bucky. It isn’t any more.

Bucky as it turned out needed a lot of rewrites just on the opening chapter alone, where not only did I have to familiarize myself with the characters again but try and remember who done what to whom. In many of my short stories, I often plan on one thing and the story will write itself, often taking me into a whole nother direction. This is not always true, especially in the case of Bucky. I also didn’t have much in the way of sexual content and now that I’m a bona fide sensualist I felt I should throw in a few scenes to highlight the action.

Lo and Behold I also discovered that out of 20 (I guess) chapters 2-9 and 19-20 are missing. Well, I could chuck the whole thing or try and piece it together. No doubt it would have proved much better in rewrites so I decided what the hell. I don’t want to say I quit a project just because it challenging

I have two other stories in my head that I want to do but I’ve made a deal with myself that I’m going to finish what I’ve started! I also have a story about rain that I submitted to someone years ago in a contest and can’t find the copy or whom I even sent it to. Maybe one of out there may have seen it…..it was a contest entry that I think I lost.

So I’m spending some time piecing Bucky together and hope to be pleased with the result anytime in the next few weeks.

I started writing when I was kid in grade school, then graduated to comic books (no, I didn’t do comic co as much as I wanted to, I love San Diego!) but gave it up when every Art High School turned me down. Even to this day I’m not sure whether it was my grades or that just didn’t have the talent. Well, I’ve found something I can do now and I’m going to stick with it. And in no time this foot will be back to health and I’ll be up and line dancing to Jace Everetts “Bad Things”.

PLEASE I hope all of you are signing my guest book with your comments, good bad or suggestions. This is where I love getting to know my readers and they get to know me!

Thanks for all your well wishes and support! Watch this site, there’s more a’comin!

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Cain’s Second Blog

24 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by mrcain in Blog

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amazon, bdsm, cain berlinger, ebook, erotic, erotica, kindle, morphine

Hey There Readers, Please take your time to enjoy my new website. It’s a brand Morphine book covernew birthing process and I’d really like to share in your feedback, suggestions etc. I’m asking you to shared in the birth process as it were! I’ve had a bit of time on my hands due to a nasty foot infection which landed me in the hospital for three weeks of this lovely summer. Instead of writing about my travels and party highlights I’m writing about pain and surgery and learning to walk again.

BUT WAIT….

This is not going to be a ‘woe is me entry’, we all have problems of our own. There will be time for that later (I look forward to your letters). What I’d like to point out is how to harvest the positive side of a murky situation. First of all try not to go head to toe with the Universe, especialy when it sends you the message that you need to slow down and, yes, smell the roses. I had so much on my plate I couldn’t really enjoy all of it as much as I’d like to, racing off to one airport after another, one event after another. This incident has forced me to see the people I care about more and meet a lot of friends whom I had previously not a lot of time for. Life is not a PBS special and I haven’t changed my ways totally but I’m going to set about a plan to amend them.

Old mans here got to get to the gym and get more of the basics, sleep and water! Who knew? As I rush toward the autumn of my years I realize that without your health, ya got nuthin. As a former personal trainer I know all the stuff to do, I just need a few friendly nudges to push me in the right direction and keep me there.

The real exciting part of this was that while I was almost constantly in pain which means I was almost constantly on pain killers, in the hospital it was the morphine that calmed me the most. A lot of the time it was really hard to focus on anything but the pain, but the writer in me decided to take the madness and sexual fantasies and just go for broke and over the top. The result is my latest offering ‘MORPHINE’. (On Kindle and all other digital formats) and It takes place in an English manor that passes for an institute that houses sexual deviants and is run by Viscount Hillary Preston. Hillary, who seems to have affected cures for man’s most basic instincts, invites his protege Sir Arthur Tinsdale come to Briarcliff Institute to learn of the doctor’s methods. And then watch as the mayhem ensues.

It’s clear I was fighting a lot of demons, morphine induced and otherwise to pound out this 22,000 word novella. There is a little bit of something for everyone, and as my usual trademark, one man’s perversion is another man’s vacation spot. There’s a lot of clear imagery and some murky ideals but don’t read it all in one sitting. Savor the mood, get to know the protagonists as Arthur does. Did I mention there is one mystery? Someone’s in a room at the top of the stairs!

A lot of my writing has explored a lot of ‘vanilla’ sex and veered off into other realms of …difference. I hope you’ll enjoy this book as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

Please enjoy my website and help us all get to know one another!

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