Pain Management

Tags

cain berligner, erotic ebook, inspiration, morphine, pain, pain management, writer, writing

Hello again! Hope everyone enjoyed the heat we’ve been experiencing on the east coast, a scorcher I hear. Of course I am still confined to home care. With a fully functioning A/C and a really awesome caregiving partner, I am all set to heal, bring it on, right now! Since June 18th I have had two days of which I can say I was not in pain. My health crisis (MRSA) is teaching me a little something about pain management and why its called ‘management’ . There are pain ‘levels’ and ‘types’ of pain. There are the pains that make you pay attention and the other pains that aren’t worth the Advil. My doctor says he doesn’t want me to get addicted to the pain pills. Pain pills manage the pain, they don’t get you high or buzzed or anything like that…for me anyway. What it does is it manages the way you process the pain that keeps you merely moaning in discomfort instead of screaming out right.

The pain is physical, the management is emotional and exhausting.

Screaming outright is what inspired my latest offering entitled “Morphine”. (Buy on Kindle here.) I like to compare its inception to William Burrough’s Junky and Naked Lunch except Morphine is not autobiographical in that sense nor are the characters real or even based on anyone that I know. Morphine is the emotional roller coaster ride you experience when you’re on Morphine, which is what the nurses at Woodhull had me on during my first few days after the first operation to remove my infection.

Screaming came just before the tears, unlike in the story where the tears build into screams. For instance, Archie’s love for his brothers physical perfection and the way they enhance his artistry starts outs as a homage that brings tears to his eyes, like while on the drug the pain was at a level that is a fire on low burn. As Archie’s madness increases, the morphine loses its power and the fire rises and you start to scream just as Archie’s brother begins to scream when the ‘art’ on his body is literally cut away.

One more example. My ambulance ride home from the hospital was a wild struggle over New York pot holes and rush hour traffic that had me bouncing madly about the back of the ambulance with sirens wailing. It translates into another scene from the book noted for its sheer violence and brutality, where Arthur is punched and beaten into submission such as I was in the back of the ambulance that brought me home.

There are many more instances where Morphine and reality meet, then go off in all directions, I’ve given just a few examples. Morphine is as dark a tale about sex and all its various forms that can bring out the most vile of emotions while under the influence of any drug, be it morphine or sex (as a drug) or another man who embodies it all. Maybe all that is in me as the writer and the Morphine just brought it to the surface. It took about two weeks to write the story which was started while I was on Morphine. I was downgraded to Vicaden just in time to dot the ‘i’s and cross the ‘T’s and the story mellowed out to its outcome. Dawne’s cover art captures the mood of the story brilliantly and as I look at the cover it comes back to me as I sail onto recovery.

Survival

Tags

illness, pain, writing

Hey CainB fans, when last I left you I was putting on a brave face surrounding my injuries as though they were small and didn’t matter much. Well, they are big, were life threatening and I am still terrified …but…I can happily say that the MHRSA infection seems to clearing up. Slowly but surely my foot is starting to look like a foot again as opposed to raw meat day at the zoo. The doctor says the nerves along the drainage site are healing and that is why I am in such excruciating pain. Your e-mails of hope ad support are need and appreciated, thank you so much.

My survival package includes lots of television comedy (TOSH. O), day time dramas (don’t judge me) and my writing – I get lost in my writing. These are the secrets to surviving catastrophic health debacles. When the pain is to much to focus on new ideas, run to your treasure trove of old stories stashed on your flash drive. No, I have not abandoned “Bucky”, my mystery novel, I’m just putting it on hold till I can find fresh ideas to represent the old concepts. Everything old is new again.

I did find some early gems such as “Breakaway” and old fashioned strangers on a train kind of story, “The Pharoah Sons”, and “Ty’s Solution” – a tender love tale of when servants overstep their stations, a cautionary tale. Some would argue that all romance tales are cautionary tales. I use the exotic ambiance as gimmicky and romantic something to hang the story on…Sometimes, in my opinion, it is all that holds a tale together, and the ability to be a part of the story.

Please play close attention to “Warriors” when it comes out in a few weeks. I try to keep PC out of my fantasies and my bedroom. “Warriors” is about a young man who escapes into a desert oasis and falls in with a village of Indians/other people/Mayans. As writers we need to be aware of the “sensitivities” of our readers. But do we censor for them as a form of protection? Or do we drop the “F” bomb of “N” word because it is integral to the story? Weigh in mighty readers. What say you?

Neither tale is special to me as only my carnal juices go into these romance stories which I call my “fluff” pieces. They are warm and cuddly like plush toys. They give you a certain comfort that there but for the right location, and time, there goes you.

As you can see this web site is growing faster and more beautiful as the days go by, Jay Lancaster is doin’ it right. There are several features that we are working on that I want to comment on, but it can wait. Also my brilliant editor is working up a few surprises for my readers that is bound to inspire other writers as she has me. Dawne Dominique is blowing me away with the kind of book covers where I find myself sometimes writing to see what she’ll get out of it.

This health/foot issue is not going to be finished to August and maybe September, on the other hand, no sweat and I’m creating, meeting folks and catching up to my online famly. When the Universe comes a calling better answer.

Round up: Thanks for visiting my site and reading my blog. I take nothing for granted. Please stop by my guest book and add a few words, ask some question, offer up some suggestions, it means a lot to me to know theres someone out there interested….Oh by the way my banner is up and ready to fly so if you’re interested in doing a banner exchange by all means contact me. I love our community! There’s the doorbell. Until next time!

Cain’s Third Blog

Tags

author, books, cain berlinger, canyon ranch, ebooks, morphine, rewrites, writer, writing

Well I hope everyone has been having a good Summer despite the crazy weather we’ve been having all over the place. There is an advantage to being stuck indoors because of a faulty foot, and that would be the A/C. Not just keepin me cool but the foot isn’t allowed to sweat, it seems to much moisture is at the fault of the whole foot infection thing.

What have I done to keep my mind off the pain and the whole bloody business? I’ve done what any writer would do, I write. After having completed the final touches on CANYON RANCH, MORPHINE, and BEDTIME STORIES (galleys, covers etc) I went treasure hunting on all my flash drives for things I could use on the site and some possibly missing stories that I may have abandoned for one reason or another.

One such story I found was a mystery novella I wrote over ten years ago. I remember the story going through many title changes until I settled on BUCKY because at the time the lead character’s name was Bucky. It isn’t any more.

Bucky as it turned out needed a lot of rewrites just on the opening chapter alone, where not only did I have to familiarize myself with the characters again but try and remember who done what to whom. In many of my short stories, I often plan on one thing and the story will write itself, often taking me into a whole nother direction. This is not always true, especially in the case of Bucky. I also didn’t have much in the way of sexual content and now that I’m a bona fide sensualist I felt I should throw in a few scenes to highlight the action.

Lo and Behold I also discovered that out of 20 (I guess) chapters 2-9 and 19-20 are missing. Well, I could chuck the whole thing or try and piece it together. No doubt it would have proved much better in rewrites so I decided what the hell. I don’t want to say I quit a project just because it challenging

I have two other stories in my head that I want to do but I’ve made a deal with myself that I’m going to finish what I’ve started! I also have a story about rain that I submitted to someone years ago in a contest and can’t find the copy or whom I even sent it to. Maybe one of out there may have seen it…..it was a contest entry that I think I lost.

So I’m spending some time piecing Bucky together and hope to be pleased with the result anytime in the next few weeks.

I started writing when I was kid in grade school, then graduated to comic books (no, I didn’t do comic co as much as I wanted to, I love San Diego!) but gave it up when every Art High School turned me down. Even to this day I’m not sure whether it was my grades or that just didn’t have the talent. Well, I’ve found something I can do now and I’m going to stick with it. And in no time this foot will be back to health and I’ll be up and line dancing to Jace Everetts “Bad Things”.

PLEASE I hope all of you are signing my guest book with your comments, good bad or suggestions. This is where I love getting to know my readers and they get to know me!

Thanks for all your well wishes and support! Watch this site, there’s more a’comin!

Baby’s First Blog!

Tags

author, cain berlinger, starting a blog, writer, writing

Well the first one in this space anyway! Writing a blog takes a bit of time and practice and just that certain amount of confidence you have to have in yourself that convinces you that other people are interested in what you have to say about …well anything, or specifically in this case writing. Writing however covers a lot of ground because you can write about anything. Write about what you had for breakfast because that experience is unique to you. First Rule: Write what you know! “hey this guy likes two different types of eggs in the morning as well, just like me.” That’s how bonds are made and friendships formed. Sounds simple?

As your life progresses you learn more about what makes you tick, what motivates you and how you fit into the world as you see it. Everyday is a new blogging experience, some days more than others. My biggest problem is disciplining myself to sit down and write a few sentences about what’s going on with me. I definitely don’t want it to have that “dear diary” feel because that would bore even me let, alone my readers.

Right now I am currently in the hospital hopefully getting over a real bad foot infection and the daily dramas of that would curl your hair but I’m going to spare you that for another time. I know me, and one dishonorable mention could quickly escalate into an intolerant rant and rave all in one, and the last thing I want to do is scare you away. But be warned, it’s bound to happen.

Getting back to the writing though, thanks to some cool morphine shots and assorted pain killers I have come across “some cool ideas floating around in my head, kicking and screaming their way onto paper.” Another thing you might not know about me is not only am I paranoid but cautious to a fault. What if I preview my ideas here and someone snatches them? A lot of life’s dramas are all made up in our heads, and isn’t that one of the coolest things? See you next time!